Our Home our Haven

Our Home our Haven

Saturday, October 25, 2014

It is such a long time since I blogged,life has a way of pulling us up short and making us deal or not with obsticles, so we have to put them in order of importance.
Family always comes first ..but..which members,this is a tough call and without going into any detail too much we decided that it is Mum who must come first at this time.
It is not a decision sitting well with all members of our family.Putting her in a home is not an option for us,however others think differently.All I can say is we have had to choose between who is in need and who is being needy.
Mum came out on top, we are missing out on seeing three grandchildren...for now...and we will catch up hopefully before they all get married lol..honestly though they have decided not to visit to prove a point and the choice of visiting them has been taken away from us..so here we are..sad at heart but doing...we think the right thing.

Mum is almost 94 and just very recently has had a Frontal Brain Bleed, we thought the time had come to say goodbye,but here she is almost 4 weeks later,chirpy,cheeky and as of 2 days ago now getting dressed each day.However we can never leave her alone again,so we have a wonderful lady that comes everyday while I am at work.We are locked into a contract with Australia Post so we cannot give up without a lot of notice,so we are retiring on 30 April next year and darling Julie will help us out till then.
Our daughter is a darling and travels up as often as her work allows to visit Nan and to give Bob and I the support we need,it has been very difficult but we made a promise to Mum that she would be with us and we will not change.

So here she is happy on a Sunday with her tea and Vegemite Toast a different girl to some weeks ago.

 
 
Here are some roses from her much loved garden and an area Bob has made for us to take her to sit he calls it the Taj Mahal,it is actually much nicer now,there are 4 chaors and more pots of colour,she loves it but has not been well enough to venture there,perhaps next week,it is 40 degrees today so too hot to sit her outside.
 
 
 
 
 
Will catch up with all the other happenings as time rolls on.
Honor thy Father and thy Mother is the most empowering thing there is we can do, I know I am blessed to have such an easy Mum to deal with,but I just know I could not live any other way and ever have a peaceful sleep again if she were being looked after by any other persons than Bob and I and our helpers,Bob was asked the other day if it would be easier if we placed Mum in a nursing
home close by,his reply was "over my dead body" see that's why I love him so much,not every man feels that way about the dreaded Mother in law.I hope one day the family will unite and support us,until then I write to the children weekly and send an update on Mums health,there are no replies really..but in the big picture of life..tomorrow is another day and time heals all.

13 comments:

  1. Dear Carole, I would have done exactly the same. I would never have put mum in a home, nor either my very ailing husband. Our home is the place he wants to be and that's perfect.

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    1. Than you for your support,I will never regret having mum xx

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  2. Dear Carole
    Lovely to have you back in blogland. I so think you have done the right thing after all it is your mother. I don't understand when family turn away from their elderly family members in their time of need. Very glad to hear too your mother is feeling better.
    keep well

    Amanda x

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    1. Thanks for your kind words they mean so much xx

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  3. Carole, your Mum is your Mum and both you and Bob are wonderful caring daughter and son-in-law. I feel very sad that some of your family are finding it difficult to go along with your decision. But you are right and they are wrong. So glad to hear that your sweet Mum is feeling a bit better. My thoughts and prayers are with you xx

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  4. Like you, I hate the easy option of dumping people in an old folks home as soon as they become needy of us. Well done Carole... you are doing the right thing. Best wishes to your Mum too. Cro x

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    1. So nice to know that most men feel the same,thank you Cro, I follow your blog as I do the other ones and love the barn ,not always got the time to leave comments for everyone but I am lurking around lol.

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  5. Carole, you are the most inspirational and amazing person I know and what you and bob are doing for your mum comes straight from the heart with so much love. It is sad to know that some family members don't agree but they are the ones that will regret this decision one day. Take care and may God continue to bless you.
    It was lovely to catch up with you last week. xx

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    1. We loved your visit Melissa and your beautiful family, at times we feel very isolated and it is lovely to be remembered.xx

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  6. your dear mamma is very blessed. I used to care for elderly ladies whose families hardly bothered with them.
    I love the Taj mahal that Bob built, what a good son in law he is and what a huge generosity of spirit you have Carole x

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    1. Thanks so much Kath, you are such a caring person it has been a comfort to know that on the other side of the world people care.xx
      person,it has been

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  7. I have just caught up with the news on your blog Carole.
    Good on your for standing up for the right to take care of your mum. I will be taking care of my parents, hopefully right to the end, I could never put them in a home, not after all they have sacrificed for me through the years. Other cultures take care of their own and have many generations living under the same roof. I think that is a fantastic thing to be able to do.

    I must be careful not to judge others, but our parents gave birth to us, took care of us and loved us unconditionally for all of our lives. What better way to repay them. Families look after each other...

    I can see your mum is in her element living there with you and Bob. So much love in your hearts, there should be more people in this world like you xx

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  8. Hi Carol its been awhile since i have visited and i am enjoying catching up with all your posts,so glad your mum is fine and what a wonderful and very honerable thing you both are doing,sending you big hugs my friend.xx

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