Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Tragedy..How Close is too Close....
As you know we live in a little town,most everyone used to know everyone but we are growing rapidly as the mining boom takes over our once beautiful valley.However our street is one of the older ones and so there are not many newcomers in it,so we all still know one another and look out for each other.
Six houses down from us is/was a lovely couple always together,not even shopping apart they were as one.
Less than one year ago Murray the husband retired and although just in his 60's he was so vibrant and talked of not wanting to get bored so he asked his cousin Rob if he could go out an d help on the farm a couple of days a week,so excited, Murray went out for his first day and low and behold a couple of hours there and he literally died at the wheel of the tractor,a massive heart attack.
Val has struggled so much with Murray's passing,she was a bowel cancer recoverer,always talked to Bob as you do to the postie,he is many people's confidant but for some time now she has not come out to meet him and chat,instead of gradually coping without the other half of herself she got more depressed and yesterday turned into a horror story for our street,Val hung herself in her carport.
How terrible for her 2 daughters,I do not know who found Val,I cannot bear to think of how desperate she must have felt...how much courage and planning it took for her to do this.
It brings to mind all those people you see,never apart where ever they go,not any independence whatsoever,choosing to live as one.How hard this is when one goes first.
My aunt and uncle were like this so much so that when Uncle Roy went into a nursing home Aunty Thel would walk everyday in her 80's to sit with him then walk all the way back,when he passed she literally stopped eating properly until 10 months later she joined him.Aunty Thel never made friends outside the home she did not need them as they had each other so when he went so did life.
I think we need to have a life outside our marriage,interests,friends,hobbies,most of all connections.
How many friends /acquaintances do you have that your family probably don't know,I know I have some that I chat to along my way.people on my mail run that I have become a friend of but not socially but they are connections to life.
Please if you are just insular to your marriage think about how you would cope,find a little interest now,get a hobby,go to bingo even,just something...don't rob your wonderful family of 2 loving parents let them have at least one of you left.
I cannot bear to think how Murray and Vals girls must be feeling,no grandparents left,no more wonderful Mum hugs,and apparently daughter hugs were not enough or grandchildren hugs,I guess no one hugged her like Murray did.
I just think this is so devastatingly sad.The day before in our nrxt town a young Mum 41 died from a heart attack leaving 3 girls,I am sure she would have traded places if such a thing were possible,it is tragic when someone dies of natural causes but just horrific when we take the breath away that God gifted us.
I pray that Val is safe in her beloveds arms,that it is all she imagined it would be,that peace is the only feeling she has,as the horror of the real world is just starting to unfold for those left behind.