Our Home our Haven

Our Home our Haven

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

                                                      Tragedy..How Close is too Close....

As you know we live in a little town,most everyone used to know everyone but we are growing rapidly as the mining boom takes over our once beautiful valley.However our street is one of the older ones and so there are not many newcomers in it,so we all still know one another and look out for each other.
Six houses down from us is/was a lovely couple always together,not even shopping apart they were as one.
Less than one year ago Murray the husband retired and although just in  his 60's he was so vibrant and talked of not wanting to get bored so he asked his cousin Rob if he could go out an d help on the farm a couple of days a week,so excited, Murray went out for his first day and low and behold a couple of hours there and he literally died at the wheel of the tractor,a massive heart attack.
Val has struggled so much with Murray's passing,she was a bowel cancer recoverer,always talked to Bob as you do to the postie,he is many people's confidant but for some time now she has not come out to meet him and chat,instead of gradually coping without the other half of herself she got more depressed and yesterday turned into a horror story for our street,Val hung herself in her carport.
How terrible for her 2 daughters,I do not know who found Val,I cannot bear to think of how desperate she must have felt...how much courage and planning it took for her to do this.
It brings to mind all those people you see,never apart where ever they go,not any independence whatsoever,choosing to live as one.How hard this is when one goes first.
My aunt and uncle were like this so much so that when Uncle Roy went into a nursing home Aunty Thel would walk everyday in her 80's to sit with him then walk all the way back,when he passed she literally stopped eating properly until 10 months later she joined him.Aunty Thel never made friends outside the home she did not need them as they had each other so when he went so did life.
I think we need to have a life outside our marriage,interests,friends,hobbies,most of all connections.
How many friends /acquaintances do you have that your family probably don't know,I know I have some that I chat to along my way.people on my mail run that I have become a friend of but not socially but they are connections to life.

Please if you are just insular to your marriage think about how you would cope,find a little interest now,get a hobby,go to bingo even,just something...don't rob your wonderful family of 2 loving parents let them have at least one of you left.
I cannot bear to think how Murray and Vals girls must be feeling,no grandparents left,no more wonderful Mum hugs,and apparently daughter hugs were not enough or grandchildren hugs,I guess no one hugged her like Murray did.
I just think this is so devastatingly sad.The day before  in our nrxt town a young Mum 41 died from a heart attack leaving 3 girls,I am sure she would have traded places if such a thing were possible,it is tragic when someone dies of natural causes but just horrific when we take the breath away that God gifted us.
I pray that Val is safe in her beloveds arms,that it is all she imagined it would be,that peace is the only feeling she has,as the horror of the real world is just starting to unfold for those left behind.
RIP Val.


  1. I am very sad. Prayers going out.

  2. I think I could imagine how she felt. With no extended family on my side and Stu and Brenton very much my world. Food for thought indeed.

  3. Oh poor darling was at such a great loss after her husband died, i hope she feels at some peace now...

  4. How sad, I once had a neighbour who shot himself and even though I didn't know him I wondered if there was something I could have done or said. You are right to say we should get out and about and have some interests. We then bring other interests and fun things back to share with each other.

  5. That's such a sad tale, Carole. She must have been living in her own personal nightmare; one that simply wouldn't go away, one you can't wake-up from.

  6. So sad Carole, I can read how painful and shocking this has been for you. I cannot imagine how her family must be feeling.
    That is good advice tho, because when one has a wonderful happy marriage it is tempting not to cultivate and value friends outside of it, which is what my Mum did.When my Dad died I was determined that I would not be as insular as my Mum had been.

  7. Oh my goodness, what a sad story but one I can relate to. Food for thought indeed.
    Love from Mum

  8. Dear Carole,

    Not only am I lifting Murry and Val's family up in prayer, but I am also praying for you and your community. What a tragic situation for everyone who knew them.


  9. How very sad but very wise words also. We need to have outside friendships and outside hobbies. it makes for a healthier life I think.