Our Home our Haven

Our Home our Haven

Friday, February 18, 2011

                                                       Marriage its a funny old thing........

We are off for the weekend to a lovely place right on the beach for our 41st wedding anniversary.We went to Naoh's on the beach for our 40th and it is so lovely we decided we will go back every year. It is in Newcastle .There is beautiful beaches a port all that jazz.Last year we regretted not taking our swimmers as at 6 am all the people came for a swim in the ocean baths and it looked beautiful,so this year we are armed.We will have a bottle of wine waiting for us, dinner is booked and we are going to have a nice time.
This year we are doing things we both love, we had a choice of our day and we are going to see Fort Scratchley first, this is where the cannons that kept the Japanese at bay in the war are and it is very interesting,Bob wants to go there,I have chosen the movies.We have no movie theatre near us we have to travel 30 minutes one direction or 2 hours almost the other so we do not get to go very often,we will either see The Kings Speach...or True Grit I would not be cruel enough to choose a chick flick..poor Bob.

The road to get to this time in our lives has been varied as is everyones elses..anyone who says there has never been a day of narkiness must be dreaming lol or exceptionally well balanced. I think in the new generations where divorce is so fashionable,marriage has become a throw away item just as worn out toasters.Many a time we could have said "stop I want to get off",when we have had trials with Bobs breakdown,I wanted to run 1,000 miles away as I did not know how I would cope,but we stood with him and he got through it,he was an ambulance officer and sadly always seemed to ge the dead babies and young people in accidents, he could rationalise the elderly as they had a good life but the young,he never could understand and the things he saw must have been horrifying in the end his mind and body just crumbled, it took us 10  years to get through that.Then he emerged from that dark tunnel a different man.
However I loved him before and love him still he is different but then so must I be.When we went to councelling in the beginning of his horrible time,we went as a family, the very first they had ever had! most wives and children had left their relationships but I could not do that to him although it was tough.
So in this world of throw aways I do not think the young people realise that the tough times that you get through get you to "know" your partener,I do know there are relationships that can't be saved, my mums one of them she was in a violent and horrible horrible marriage so at age 36 she escaped to her parents...I do not speak of those marriages, it is he ones where a petty thing grows to a just plain hate you thing,when all along they could have talked it through battled on and better days come again.
At the end of our days a companion in life that knows what we like,has the same memories, shares the family you built together is a wonderful thing.You start just 2 and end up just 2 as your family grows,leaves home,starts their family, although you are included and it is wonderful,it is not the children that you sit with at night and sip a wine or a hot cuppa.The compainionship that you share is that way because of the bad times  as you got through them and the good are just the icing on the cake.
Sex ....well thats another story...romance that too.....it may not seem like it is in the movies and I think that is what  people think when they get married,I did,that it is always roses, "hello hunny I'm home",race you off to bed with one look lol ahhhh memories,at the September time of your life it takes all night to do what you used to do all night..or 6 seconds if you believe the stats lol

I guess I just want to say "happy anniversary" for Monday Bob.We have had lots of good times and they are the ones we remember ,the other hiccups etc well they are just a distant memory now seems like a million years ago.We need to enjoy today as there well could be no tomorrow as many of my friends have lost their husbands this year we are approaching the age where life is coming to a close..so off we go...dirty weekend the kids call it!!!!  one can only hope so lol...
God keep us safe as we travel not only on the road but in life.AMEN.


  1. That was a lovely post,and speaks well for your marriage. I can only imagine what your husband went through,having to deal with the death of a small child or a baby,god bless him. I'm glad you made it through as an intact family. Blessings jane

  2. Have a beautiful weekend, my own mother cared for an ill husband, amazing...where most women would have said it was too hard. The man that came out the other end was not the man she married, only as an adult now,I realise how hard that must have been living with an almost stranger in her home....but she did it....strong women, that is what is missing from relationships....it gets 'too hard' and people bail....life is a journey, through good and not so....you have to travel the whole lot, not just pick the pieces you 'want to'...........xxx

  3. I hope you have a great weekend and enjoy your time away. The kings speech is a great movie if you get to see it.
    Marriage is hard and times can be tough but you have to hang in there..... everything takes work.

  4. I have an old school friend who, when I last saw him, was on his FIFTH wife. I quite expect that's now gone up. I've never understood how people can do that. It can't be love.

    Have a wonderful time. You deserve it.

  5. Hello my lovely,
    What a beautiful post....
    I agree wholeheartedly about hanging in there....you reap what you sow...

    Hope you have a fantastic time together!
    Karen x x x

  6. Thankyou Carole, Sometimes I feel like giving up as I am thin skinned and take offence very easily. I am learning though to try and talk about problems instead of bottling them up. Marriage is really hard work and I pray we will make it to 40 years at least! We have been married 7 years this year! Where does the time go?
    Thankyou for the little pep talk. You are very wise. God bless you and I hope you have a lovely weekend.

  7. Carole - happy anniversary to both of you. Thank you for sharing that little bit of your lives with us. Have a wonderful time. You both deserve it. xx

  8. Hi Carole,

    Happy 40th anniversary. Marriage is hard work. You have your good times, sad times and bad times. So much is shared, built up on and invested into a marriage, memories and a life time. When you don't give up, don't bail out and stick with it through hard times, the light does come back.

    We are coming up to our 30th anniversary.

    Loyalty to God's arrangement of marriage helps one.

    Thank you for your wise words on marriage. Have a happy time together.